sleepless night turn to stressful days

for the past few weeks i have been unable to sleep. i get tired, jordan and i get ready for bed, and have family prayer. then i lay here. my thinker turns on and my sleep button turns off. i think about things that i have no control over. for instance last night i thought about jordan going to chiropractic school in another state where we will have to find a new apartment, new jobs, and be acquainted with a new ward. it is still hard for me to adjust here. what if (like here) i never find a job, while still feeling inadequate, it stresses me out. so i think if we go to school in this state-they may have more opportunities for me to work. then i think 3 years of school is almost $100,000 of debt that will accrue, we planned after school we would have them. well that makes no sense now, we will have all this debt and no extra money for children or a house for that matter. school is so expensive, work doesnt pay much or at all in my case, and kids well that will have to wait. i stay up until 2 most nights, tossing and turning while i try to remain quiet while jordan sleeps. usually he wakes up to nothing. sometimes my tossing and turning will wake him up so he will cuddle with me but im usually sweating from stressing and dont want to cuddle. (rude i know but then i stress more because i dont want to be rude at his nice jesture and then i dont want to sweat) then i get just a few hours of sleep and jordan will wake up and get up before me and wake me up. not because hes loud or anything but because i wake up to EVERYTHING. typically im grumpy (which since i was young i have tried not to be but for some reason-i cannot control it) so i say something that i regret and quickly try to fully wake up in order to apologize. i just need sleep, i need to stop stressing and thinking about things that i cannot control. so this morning im reading an article on LDS.org from conference last october. “You don’t know everything, but you know enough!” i dont know why i dont have a job, i dont know why school is so expensive, i dont know why we are going to uproot several times in the next few years without settling, i dont know why i dont sleep then wake up and get mad at my husband, but i know enough that if i have faith things will be fine and we will be ok. in this article it talks about a missionary that was going home & of his trials before serving his mission and he said to elder neil andersen, “Brother Andersen, I don’t even know if God loves me.” i think if anything... at all... everything that stresses me out daily or i should say nightly. my heavenly father knows me and loves me. i dont appreciate it and remember it daily (which i should) but i know without a shadow of a doubt he loves me and nothing else matters. im so blessed to have what i have. though things are difficult and feel impossible.... i am blessed and i need to remind myself that every morning before any words come out of my mouth.